Opening Questions
- What insecurities plague you on a regular basis? (appearance, abilities, personality, etc.)
- Where do you try to find security? (others’ approval/respect, accomplishments, comfort, etc.)
- Do you believe God’s love is satisfying and can bring you security? Why or why not?
How Insecurity Starts
The same happens to all who forget God. The hopes of the godless evaporate. Their confidence hangs by a thread. They are leaning on a spider’s web.
Job 8:13-14 NLT
No matter how insecurity manifests itself in your life, all insecurity starts when we place our confidence in something that doesn’t last.
When we try to get security from something as fickle as a person’s approval or attention, our own achievements, or instant comfort, our confidence fluctuates according to what we’re depending on. If a person likes us we are confident, but if they don’t we are completely demoralized. We feel secure when we’re successful at school or work, but absolutely destroyed when we mess up in some way.
Pause and reflect
- Where do you base your security?
“The Lord says, “Those who trust in man are under my curse. They depend on human strength. Their hearts turn away from me. They will be like a bush in a dry and empty land. They will not enjoy success when it comes. They will live in dry places in the desert. It is a land of salt where no one else lives.”
Jeremiah 17:5-6 NIRV
This Scripture describes what it looks like when we rely on ourselves and people for security. We often feel alone and empty (“where no one else lives”). Even when we are successful and get what we want, we can’t even enjoy it because it’s never enough.
Pause and reflect
- Does this describe you?
- How have you felt empty and alone?
What are Your Insecurities?
I’m Too Weak
But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”
Exodus 4:10-12 NLT
God chose Moses to do something great, but Moses’ fear of not being talented, skilled, or good enough stopped him from being able to see the impact he was capable of having.
Moses was insecure about his ability to speak to and lead his people. He felt too weak to be able to help anybody, and this made him cower away from what he was called to do.
Pause and reflect
- What is your attitude toward your weaknesses? What abilities are you insecure about? (intelligence, athleticism, social ability, etc)
- How has this insecurity stopped you from seeing the purpose God has for you?
I’m Not Important
Samuel continued, “You may not think you’re very important, but the LORD chose you to be king, and you are in charge of the tribes of Israel.”
1 Samuel 15:17 CEV
In this passage, Samuel is speaking to King Saul. Even though God chose him to be king, Saul didn’t believe that he was important, or that it made a difference whether or not he was there. He thought that what he did or said didn’t matter.
If you continue to read 1 Samuel, you will see that because Saul didn’t believe he was significant, he did everything he could to try to get people to see him as relevant and important. He put up a monument for himself, he compromised his beliefs to get people to like him, and he got jealous and competitive with David because he didn’t want people to think David was more important than him.
Saul’s fear and insecurity of his relevance and importance blinded him from seeing the great things he was chosen for. He couldn’t see himself the way God saw him.
Pause and reflect
- How are you afraid of being unimportant?
- How does this insecurity affect how you make decisions and interact with others?
I’m Too Flawed
When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, sir, please leave us—I’m too much of a sinner for you to have around.” For he was awestruck by the size of their catch, as were the others with him, [10] and his partners too—James and John, the sons of Zebedee. Jesus replied, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for the souls of men!”
Luke 5:8-10 TLB
When Peter saw how amazing Jesus was, he immediately became insecure that he was too messed up and flawed to be his friend. Why would Jesus be friends with someone who’d made that many mistakes and done that much wrong?
Because of this insecurity, Peter’s reaction to Jesus was to distance himself from him. He isolated and pushed him away.
However, Jesus responded to this insecurity not by confirming that Peter was “so sinful,” but by giving him a purpose beyond himself.
Pause and reflect
- What flaws and mistakes do you feel insecure about? How have you pushed away others as a result?
With each insecurity, God never responds with criticism. He doesn’t even respond with pity by feeling sorry for us. In each Scripture, God responded to the person’s insecurity with a purpose to live for something beyond themselves. He does the same for us!
Secure in Love
And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Romans 8:15 TPT
When we turn to God with our insecurities, we can finally put to rest the fear of not being good enough. God accepts us for who we are with all of our weaknesses, flaws, and insecurities.
We don’t have to try to turn to all the things that don’t really satisfy us, because God’s love for us is enough. This leads us to be confident enough to be honest about who we are without fear of rejection or abandonment, because we are accepted and loved by God.
Now filled up with God’s love, we are freed up to have the purpose he wants for us and choose to love others!
My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
1 John 3:18 MSG
This Scripture makes it simple. The way to shut down the self-criticism and insecurities that debilitate us is by choosing to love!
When we are thinking about someone other than ourselves and making them great, it doesn’t matter what weaknesses we have. Choosing to love doesn’t require being the strongest, smartest, most relevant, or even the most virtuous person. You don’t need any of those things to love!
“I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never-I promise-regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.
Luke 6:35-36 MSG
When we see how much God loves us even in our worst, weakest, and most vulnerable moments, we don’t have to be held back by the insecurities we have. We can be confident and secure enough to love others no matter what response we get, and live out the great purpose God has for our lives!
Pause and reflect
- How can you choose to love today? Who needs you to love them?
- Take time to pray through the insecurities you have and pray to see the purpose God wants you to have despite them.
Further Reading
Explore more:
Recommended for you
God's thoughts are higher than and completely different from ours
By staying close to God and following his guidance, we can fill our homes with joy, love, intimacy, and resilience.
